


Cat Got Your Tongue

by canadino



Category: One Piece
Genre: Cat AU, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 15:12:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6962107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadino/pseuds/canadino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Zoro and Sanji are cats.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cat Got Your Tongue

The building where his humans lived had a million nooks and crannies, which led to drafts and dust in the hallways, but Zoro loved it because it gave little critters spaces to hide and hole up in in wait for their impending death at his claws. Presently, he had caught the scent of a particularly nasty rat and was stalking it carefully along the side of the building. It was sniffing at the rubbish that was lying around the dumpster, its whiskers twitching and its beady eyes darting around for movement. Zoro lay himself flat on the ground, very still in the shadows of the large, raggedy couch that was lying on its side. The rat ambled over to a discarded crust of bread, inspecting it before gnawing at it, its head down and focused on its meal. 

Zoro tested things by placing a paw forward and when the rat continued eating obliviously, he made his way to a spot where a well-placed pouch would snag him his prey, and as the rat finished the last crumbs, he sprang. 

He had miscalculated; the sun wasn’t that strong overhead, but the shadow he cast alerted the rat, who did not bother turning around to see its attacker and took off for the space beneath the dumpster. Zoro landed on his paws and used the momentum to propel him toward the dumpster - but it was too late. The rat had squeezed its way far back enough that Zoro could not reach a paw through and grab it. He tried nonetheless, scraping and growling. 

“Serves you right, you ruffian,” said an unfamiliar meow.   


Zoro jumped back from the dumpster, his fur standing on end at this latest threat. But the voice had come from a golden yellow cat perched on the fire escape, looking down with him with contempt in his gray eyes. The cat had a magnificent black collar with shiny, gold tags and well-brushed fur; Zoro could not imagine Long Nose (or Usopp as he was called) or Straw Hat (or Luffy as Usopp usually groaned when dirty dishes were left in the living room) taking a brush to his unruly fur. He groomed himself because any good mouser did not let himself go like that. But while the golden cat had soft fur, he also had strange tufts of fur around its eyes and ears that curled strangely; even those curls looked well maintained. Zoro could imagine the cat’s owner and even the fussy-looking cat struggling to make it stand straight. The cat gazed upon him for a moment more before settling down, tucking his paws underneath its chest. 

“Did you call me a ruffian?” Zoro asked. The cat did not mean him any bodily harm, not poised for an attack, but Zoro kept his haunches raised and at the ready. His recent failure to kill the rat was fueling his irritation; how did he ever mean to beat Mihawk at being the best mouser in the world if he couldn’t catch such an easy target like that fat rat? Perhaps he had to take a break from his humans; Mihawk was still technically feral, even if he accepted care from the red-haired, one-armed man living in the penthouse atop the apartment building. He had felt Mihawk’s eyes on him as he hunted sometimes, but it was not the gaze of someone watching a dangerous rival. He was still so green behind the ears that he was merely entertainment and a way to pass the time. The gold cat licked his paws.  


“Aren’t you? You have a collar and you look like you’re fed regularly, so you’re a house cat. I understand if you have to hunt to survive, but cats that hunt for sport are just barbaric.”   


“I’m no house cat,” Zoro growled. It was true there was a place he returned to every night. It was true he ate the food that his humans gave him. But he was born feral and he had seen things that no pampered, indoor cat would ever dream of. He had watched a member of the litter that adopted him, his own foster sister, die on the streets. He had scavenged. He had created alliances and fought in turf battles. He had also gotten himself in a trap set by Animal Control when he was trying to find his way back to the place where he had stayed with Johnny and Yosaku and he was pretty sure his biting and scratching was earning him a straight ticket to being put down if Luffy had not declared him the coolest cat in the kennel and adopted him right there and then. He would never be indebted to humans, but the humans had saved his life, so he would grace them with his presence. “I’m going to be the best mouser in the world.”  


The cat wrinkled his nose. “That’s what I said. You’re barbaric, killing things for fun.”

“It’s nature for cats. We’re born hunters. If you just sit on your haunches and let humans feed you wet food from a can, you’re no real cat.” Zoro displayed his claws, three sharp points on both front paws. “These are the only things I depend on. Humans dump their pets they don’t care about anymore at their whim, so you’re foolish to think you’re safe as a sweet little pet.”  


The gold cat suddenly leapt to his feet, snarling. “Don’t you dare say those kinds of bad things about Nami. She’s an angel and she would never do something like that.” 

Zoro had no idea who Nami was, but he figured it was the cat’s human. Although with how domesticated the cat was, it seemed more appropriate to call her the human who owned the cat. He could feel a fight in the air and it made his fur bristle. He could take this pet; instinct allowed the cat to settle into a defensive position, but if defense was his default, Zoro had the upper hand. “Yeah,” he snarled. “If you were so sure that witch wouldn’t abandon her sweet kitty pet, you wouldn’t get so upset. You must sit by the door every day and wait for her to come back and meow and rub against her shamelessly until she’s forced to pet you. And you get all upset if she ignores you.”

The golden cat was starting to fluff up from anger. “Tell me your name,” the cat demanded. “I want to know what they call you so I can say I made you run for your life with your tail between your legs.”

Zoro laughed. The cats on the streets called him it because it was what his war cry sounded like, the same sound he made when he launched himself at Luffy back at the kennel, and Luffy had laughed even with scratches on his arms and asked for the adoption certificate to name the cat after that funny sound he had made. Usopp had given him another name, after some old pirate, which Luffy had misheard; he owed Luffy enough to allow himself to be marked by the human. “They call me Roronoa Zoro. I don’t care about your name, because you’ll just be another of those cats I teach a lesson about trying to pick a fight with me.”

“I’m a nice cat, and I have manners, so I’ll tell you my name anyway. You can say that Sanji was the cat who slashed your belly.” With that declaration, he leapt from the fire escape.  


“Whoa, Zoro!” Luffy laughed as Zoro slinked in from the window. He reached out and Zoro let himself get manhandled; it had been a while since he had fought with someone who could possibly be an equal on terms of fight ability and when he thought he had had Sanji successfully pinned, he received a soft belly full of powerful hind legs and it had knocked the wind from him. Sanji did not pack much power in his scratches but he was more agile and streamlined with his jumps. Zoro did not quite purr as Luffy scratched him under the chin. “Did you get into a fight? You look beaten up! But you probably won, didn't you? Because you’re the coolest cat ever.”   


Zoro let out a tired meow. 

“We should check him for injuries,” Usopp said, running his hands all over Zoro’s fur, making him squirm. “No broken bones or anything like that...I feel some dried blood but...” He pulled his hands back as Zoro lashed at him, stalking away from the two roommates as he settled in the corner and began to groom himself. “I guess he’s got that under control.”  


“I wonder what the other cat looks like,” Luffy said. “Do you think it’s crying because Zoro kicked its ass?” Zoro sure hoped so; he imagined Sanji crawling back to his home pathetically yowling to Nami the Witch until she begrudgingly cuddled with him until he felt better. He’d gotten a few good hits in but Sanji was not as battered as he’d liked him to be when their fight had been interrupted by the garbage men who yelled and chased them away. Zoro had been raring to continue their battle elsewhere, but Sanji had said something about how it was beneath him to stoop to his barbaric levels and disappeared. He could have considered a draw, but Sanji’s departure pretty much meant he had won, hadn’t it? Zoro settled down next to the heating vent for a satisfying victory nap.   


[=]

Another thing about the building that Luffy and Usopp lived in that was good was that there were no shortages of perfectly sunny spots, warm surfaces with which a midday nap was heavenly. Zoro was contently sunning himself on the ledge above the front doors of the building when he noticed Sanji sauntering down the walkway with a large, T-bone in his jaws. It had been a week or so since the fight with the yellow cat, and it looked like Sanji had put the whole incident behind him, a low rumble of a purr in his throat as he walked past the gates onto the sidewalk. Zoro didn’t give a fig about Sanji’s wellbeing, though he had to admit he could respect the guts of a house cat brave enough to pick a fight with a seasoned fighter. But the only animals he knew that enjoyed a bone like that were dogs, and he knew fancy Sanji would not be eating that bone. Usopp was always batting him away from his personal projects, complaining that he was always putting his cat nose into things that didn’t concern him, but Zoro had no plans for the day and he was curious. He crept quietly along behind Sanji, following the cat a few blocks until they reached the streets where the big shops and restaurants lined. 

Humans looked and pointed at Sanji trotting along with a huge bone in his mouth. Zoro followed close behind, ready to leap at anyone who stopped the cat; he didn’t like Sanji, but the cat was clearly on a mission and it was just unforgivable to impede on something like that. But no one reached out or got in their way. Sanji veered off into an alleyway, right next to a restaurant with a large glittery fish signboard with the words ‘ _Tout Bleu’_. 

Zoro stayed back, watching from behind some pipes as Sanji walked right up to the back door of the restaurant. There was a yellow dog sitting at the door, watching him approach. Sanji put the bone down in front of the dog and said, bowing respectfully, “For you, my sweet.”

“You really don’t have to,” the dog said. She sniffed at the bone but did not touch it. “You’re so persistent. Why are you giving me this?”  


“I know beauty when I see it,” Sanji declared, his yowling reaching almost comedic heights. Zoro’s ears twitched. “Cat, dog, it doesn’t matter - ladies are meant to be treated well.”  


“Well,” the dog said, “thank you, I guess.”  


“Please do not mention it, Domino, my sweet ray of sunlight. It’s the least I could do.”  


Domino the dog looked up straight at Zoro. “So is your friend there going to serenade me next? There’s really a limit I can handle. The humans will have me chasing you both away if you guys make too much noise.”

Sanji turned and hissed when he saw Zoro. “You! What on earth are you doing here? Are you following me?”

“I followed you,” Zoro corrected, trotting up now that he had been exposed. Domino had risen to her feet; she must have sensed the natural aggression Zoro held himself with that Sanji apparently had lost after months of sleeping in a soft, nice bed and preening over his stupid golden fur. Sanji continued hissing at him, which he ignored. “I’m Zoro. You look strong.”  


“I am strong,” Domino said. She was a sheepdog and she towered over Zoro; he supposed her size difference let her merely watch him. She was in no way threatened. Sanji had since settled into an angry glower, his tail slashing the air back and forth. “I have to be, to guard this place. There’s a lot of expensive ingredients that my master and his humans use and there’s been a few break-ins. And of course, I need to make sure you cats don’t sneak in and steal food.”  


“I have no interest in whatever’s over there,” Zoro said, although his nose was detecting something that smelled delectable. Sanji didn’t strike him as a particularly lawless cat who would woo his way to steal some fish, but then again, he didn’t really know Sanji at all. “But I am interested in fighting you.”  


Domino continued watching him. “I don’t fight unless provoked. It’s a waste of energy to bark at everyone who passes the alley. You’re a strange cat; you want to fight just for the sake of it.”

“He’s got moss for brains,” Sanji meowed grumpily. “It’s probably why his coat’s got that nasty green sheen when it catches the light.”  


“My fur is black.”   


“Get out of here,” Domino said, sitting back down. She was a considerable force in front of the back door. “My master isn’t going to like seeing you guys around and he’s not as easygoing as I am. He comes back here to check on me from time to time so you should get going.” She had firmly ignored the bone the whole time and she also firmly ignored the sweet nothings Sanji called in her direction while leaving. Zoro was caught between a cat he barely knew and a dog he did not know at all; the lesser of two evils, he followed Sanji out of the alleyway. Sanji was stalking his way back to the apartment building, not bothering to wait for Zoro. Zoro ran after him anyway.

“I thought you were against hunting as a house cat.”  


“What are you talking about?” Sanji spat.   


“You called me a barbarian for hunting, but I don’t think this is any different. You’re just hunting something that isn’t alive, but it’s the same thing.” Zoro tapped Sanji’s flank with a swish of his tail. “I bet the witch feeds you more than you really need and that’s why you’ve got no muscle.”  


Sanji batted him with a paw, but it had no malice and his claws were sheathed. “It’s different,” Sanji said, although his tone suggested that was the final thing he would say about the whole situation. Zoro was not going to be able to goad an explanation from him. “This and that are different, because the intention is different.” 

“Really,” Zoro said. Sanji gave him a look before darting off down the sidewalk. The sudden movement and the amused flick of Sanji’s ears prompted Zoro to pick up the pace as well; it was an unspoken race, apparently, and hell if Zoro was going to lose to a little kitty pet in terms of speed. He caught up easily and Sanji jostled him in an attempt to bump him back. They must have been making a racket, yowling and snarling at each other, because Usopp looked up as they approached at the front of the building. He was holding some contraption he had most likely built in his room, as was his hobby when he wasn’t holed up in the office doing his design work for the companies he frequently freelanced for. It looked like a gigantic slingshot.

“Zoro?” Usopp said. Zoro felt Sanji skid to a stop next to him and change direction to the bushes around the building. Zoro understood his anxiety; Usopp might be harmless to him, but Sanji had never seen this human before and the human was even holding something foreign and possibly dangerous. Zoro felt Sanji’s eyes tracking him as he slowed down to a comfortable trot up to Usopp, who set down the slingshot and reached out to rub Zoro’s head. Zoro usually didn’t mind Usopp’s affections, but Sanji was watching him potentially look like a kept cat, so he tossed his head and Usopp got the message. “That was unusual to see you with another cat. I didn’t know you got out and about like that. Sorry for disturbing your time with your lady cat.”  


Sanji screeched from within the bushes in indignation. Zoro willfully ignored him again. 

[=]

“I’ll bite,” Domino said. “What are you really trying at?”  


Sanji cleaned behind his ears and said coyly, “What do you mean, princess? Do you think I have ulterior motives? Certainly, a nice moonlight walk through the park would be a dream, but...”

“Cut that out. You want in behind this door. Why? If you wanted the food, I’m sure there’s easier places to get it. Although if you’re friends with Zoro, I guess a challenge is its own worth.”  


“I’m not friends with him. I don’t even know why he’s tagging along.”   


“Let’s fight,” Zoro said to Domino. She ignored him, as she usually did now whenever he proposed the topic.   


“I haven’t chased you away for good because you don’t seem to be one of those stray cats who are just trying to steal from the kitchens, but I would be foolish to overlook this kind of thing. Just tell me what you’re here for. I have no interest in sweet-talking kitties.”  


“Oh, you think I’m sweet? You sure know how to pay a compliment --”

“Get straight to it or I’ll bite you. I really will.”  


Sanji looked her right in the face. Zoro lay on top of a nearby trashcan, tightly sealed to prevent rats and strays in the alley, his tail dangling as he watched Domino pay more attention to a pet than a good use of her time. She was an attack dog, that was clear enough; she was not leashed, but her collar had a thick, metal loop that a sturdy chain might have once connected to. She was a fighter, and Zoro itched to somehow make her battle him. “Before my goddess of a human took me in, I belonged to a chef of high quality. He used to cook in a famous restaurant. But he got into an accident and lost one of his legs, and he had to move to another building that was more convenient for him to get around in and it didn’t allow pets so he had to give me away. He lives too far for me to visit him anymore, but when I still lived with him he talked about an expensive cut of fish that he wanted to get his hands on but never got a chance. I’ve heard that _Tout Bleu_  has it on hand. I don’t want to eat it; I just want to see it.”

Domino looked down at him. “A cat wants to just look at a piece of fish? You really expect me to believe this?”

“Well, it’s my word against me. I don’t have any other way to show you how sincere i am.”  


Domino glanced at the bone Sanji had offered her today, the fatty marrow still stuck to parts of it. “You’ve given me many...acceptable gifts. I get scraps here and there but I don’t like fish bones, which a lot of them are.”

“I know what types of meat some bones come from, so I always make sure to get you the tastiest.” Sanji was really playing the long game with all of his effort, Zoro thought. “And...while I won’t say I wasn’t trying to curry favor on my part, it is true that I would love to see you after you’re done working...perhaps we really could take that moonlit stroll and...”  


“I’ll let you in for five minutes. I will personally chase you out even if you do not find what you’re looking for.” Zoro lifted his head; Sanji’s tail flicked up in surprise. “My masters have closed the restaurant for a few hours to have a staff meeting and they will have cleared out from the kitchen. Although I don’t trust you fully, there have been some instances that you could have gotten past me but you never took those chances. But if you make me regret my decision, I will hunt you down and make sure you regret it.” Domino turned to Zoro. “And I’ll sweeten the pot to the black cat; if you stop him if he tries to steal something, I’ll fight you in exchange.”  


“Now you’re talking,” Zoro said, leaping down from the garbage can. “Hope you’re thinking of stealing something, kitty pet.”  


“I have no intention of doing that. I’ll skin you alive if you steal something and go back on lovely Domino’s trust.”  


Domino pawed at the door and whimpered convincingly; a man opened the door and looked around. “What is it, Domino? We can hear you from the dining room.” He noticed her empty water dish; she had knocked it over minutes prior, drenching the alleyway in water. “Oh, Domino. I’ll get you more water.” He took the dish and disappeared inside. Domino tossed her head as a signal and the cats quickly darted in through the open door and directly to the left to the stacks of boxes in the pantry. As she had said, the man had his back to them at the sink and this was the most convenient hiding place. The man took the water back out to Domino and returned back deeper into the restaurant where the voices were coming from. They waited until the kitchen had fallen back into silence.

“If you make any noise and alert the humans, I will cut you open,” Sanji threatened, slowly making his way out into the open, his ears perked. Human food did not excite Zoro the way it apparently did for Sanji, but it smelled wonderful in the kitchen. Luffy and Usopp ate things out of cans and used the microwave, but there was the fresh scent of ginger and many seasonings. Zoro did not recognize half the smells and busied himself sniffing around, taking in the expanse of sensory discoveries to be had. “Stop that,” Sanji hissed at him. “Stay close to me. They’ll notice us faster if we separate.”  


Zoro begrudgingly went back to Sanji, but not without comment even if he conceded Sanji had a point. “If you’re so scared, you can just say so, that you want a bodyguard...”

“Don’t gas yourself up. The only things you can beat are tiny little mice. You couldn’t even catch that rat that one time.”  


“Hey! I was a little off my game that day, I picked a fight before with another cat and...” He ran smack into Sanji when the cat suddenly stopped and was about to chew him out for stupidly standing around when he noticed Sanji was staring at something on the counter above them. He followed the golden cat’s line of gaze and there on top of a wooden board, covered in clear, plastic wrap, was a beautiful specimen of deep ruby red fish. It had a clear sheen of freshness, a neat curved block straight from the fish itself. “Whoa! Is that what you’re looking for?”

“It’s called toro,” Sanji said breathlessly. His eyes were glittering. After seeing Sanji in tomcat mode with Domino and antagonistic in almost every meeting, he had actually never seen Sanji so absorbed in something that wasn’t covered in cat nip. The toys that Luffy and Usopp gave to him turned him into an embarrassing mess, and Zoro was determined that kind of behavior from him would never leave the privacy of his corner. Sanji was staring at the fish transfixed. “It’s the most expensive and tastiest fish from across the oceans. Zeff had so many plans for it but he never was able to bid the right amount and never got to make anything with it. It’s so...” Sanji shivered as if he were about to sneeze. “...magnificent. I just have no words for it.”  


Zoro looked at him, then up at the fish. “Take it,” he said, impulsively. He didn’t know what overcame him; stealing food like this was shameful for a cat. Certainly in a city, cats could not only depend on hunting for their sustenance, but Zoro was partial to not filching food from humans as a regular source of food. Humans were full of openings, and this was just pathetic to take something without properly outwitting them. His stubbornness on the issue had gone over the heads of some of the other cats during his feral days, but there was the principle of the matter. But there was something about how Sanji was looking at the fish, the importance marked upon it - hell, Zoro understood when cats stuck to their values, and this was one of Sanji’s values. “I won’t stop you.”

“No,” Sanji said, tearing his eyes from the tuna, although the energy that rippled through his fur indicated he wanted nothing more than to do just that. “I promised Domino. She’d never let me leave if I took it. And I promised her. A cat doesn’t break a promise, you know that.”  


A sharp bark from behind the closed door alerted them that their time was up; they had to make it back to boxes so they could slip back out when the humans checked up on their dog again. As they made their way back toward the back of the kitchen, Sanji’s nose angled up and he sniffed at a tall garbage can at the end of the preparation counter. “Wait.”

“What? Domino’s going to get the humans; you said yourself we shouldn’t be wandering around.”  


“Shut up for a second, moss for brains.” Sanji leapt up onto the counter, no small feat in such a narrow space, and looked over the edge into the trash can. “Well, butter my paws!” His ears flattened.   


“What? Get down from there. Domino’ll start barking any minute now.”  


“There’s a _ton_  of food in here. There’s so much food. It could feed all the strays in this part of town. Why do they keep it inside? Humans hate trash lying around.” This was true, if Luffy’s groaning and moaning about taking the trash bags to the garbage chute and cleaning up after himself were to be believed. “They usually take it out to the dumpsters and it’s a free for all. But they don’t have anything like that in the alleyway that Domino protects.” Sanji was still bristling on the counter. Domino barked again, more insistent now. Zoro glanced back at where the human voices were coming from; they sounded closer now. “Are they hoarding it in here? It doesn’t make sense.”  


“Kitty pet,” Zoro hissed. “Get your tail down here; the humans are coming!”  


“Every stray could have their fill from this,” Sanji was still muttering. “Every single stray. Humans have no obligation to feed wild cats, but this is just withholding it from them!”  


“Get down here!” Domino’s barks were becoming louder and louder and there was a voice coming straight for the kitchen; the man did not sound alarmed, but he would be once he came in and saw two cats in the middle of where they were not supposed to be. “Come on, you stupid pretty boy cat!”  


Sanji leapt off the counter just as the man rounded the door and they made it back to the shadows of the boxes just in time to hide as he passed them and opened the door. “Domino!” the man yelled. “What’s wrong?” The man’s body leaned out into the alleyway. “You see a raccoon or something? That’s impossible though, since we keep the food trash indoors. We can’t have those critters lurking around; it’s bad for the health code. What’s wrong? You hungry or something?”

Domino whined. 

“Okay, okay, let me grab your kibble.” The man disappeared into a room that veered off from the kitchen.  


“Cats,” Domino growled. “Get out here and you better not have taken anything.”   


Sanji slipped out, under her scrutinizing glare, but he held nothing in his jaws and neither did Zoro. “We only just looked,” Sanji said. “That’s all. That’s it. We just looked.”

“It’d be hard to get anything,” Zoro muttered. “With everything sealed away like that.”  


Domino started barking at them, loud and viciously, which seemed rather rude and Sanji opened his jowls to hiss at her not to rush them, but the human had appeared with a bowl of kibble. “Hey!” he yelled. “Don’t you hear the dog? Get out of here!” Zoro knew a losing fight when he saw it, and he wasn’t keen about being picked up by Animal Services again and have Luffy fetch him so he ran; Sanji was hot at his heels, snarling over his shoulder. 

“Honestly!” Sanji was seething by the time they had rounded the corner back to the safety of the residential blocks. “The nerve!” The run had refreshed Zoro, who had since dissipated his anger toward Domino for startling them, even if to play the part of a good guard dog. But Sanji was still bent out of shape - “It really gets under my fur, that place. It isn't even for compost. They mean to throw all that food away and it’s all going to waste. I know cats who would kill for all that.”   


“I didn’t think you were a particularly compassionate cat,” Zoro sniffed. “Since when did you care about hungry cats from the streets?”  


Sanji was very quiet before blurting, “I was a stray once, okay? Before I lived with Zeff.” The force of the outburst stopped Zoro in his tracks; all these loud sounds were not good for his heart. Sanji was quivering, indignation apparent by the way his fur stood on end. There was shame in it too, the humiliation of having nowhere to belong to. On the surface, ferals and strays were in the same boat; but where feral cats were born into their place, strays were willingly abandoned or left behind, the forgotten cats used to keeping their noses up suddenly reduced to groveling and quickly learning how to fend for themselves. “I went months on the streets by myself. I know what it’s like to go hungry.” Sanji was dragging his paws, the words being pulled from his mouth even when his fangs had dug in and were unwilling to let go. Yes, he still gave Zoro a distinctly kitty pet attitude and did not bother even trying to understand another cat’s code of ethics, but Zoro recognized that look. Cats that knew how to hide and where exactly to bite to get a human to let go never really shook that kind of weight off even if they found themselves in better circumstances. 

“If I can get a band of hungry cats together,” Zoro said slowly, “would you make a plan to get us all inside?”  


Sanji’s head shot up, along with his tail, which had been dragging along the sidewalk despondently. “You want to help me?” he asked. 

Zoro shrugged. “You want to feed hungry cats and I know hungry cats who deserve better than dumpster scraps. You could say you’d be helping me too.” 

Sanji stared at him, his tail swaying back and forth. “If,” he said, “if you know cats who would come and grab their fill...it would be much easier than trying to grab the whole bag and making a run for it.”

“You wanted to take the entire trash can with you? You’d never make it past Domino, you idiot.”   


Sanji leapt at him, but it was all play-fighting. The pads of his paws were smooth against Zoro’s fur. “If you’ll hustle a big group up, I’ll think of something. I’ll need to get back on Domino’s good side again, so that’ll mean taking more offerings to her for a few days. Dogs are pretty simple minded so I’m sure she’ll forget about this quickly and we can go in for the attack. Make sure the cats you find aren’t wimps; this isn’t going to be an easy, quick in and out.” 

“The cats I know will fight their way out of an iron drum to survive,” Zoro said, pawing half-heartedly at the soft fur on Sanji’s underside. Sanji bit him on the nose.   


“Also,” the golden cat purred, “did you call me a pretty boy cat back there?”   


“Don’t act like your human doesn’t call you that all the time. ‘Oh, aren’t you a pretty boy? Yes you are’.” He’d heard the dark haired woman down the hallway living with the huge, loud man call him that. She’d reached out to pet him, but he’d always darted out of the way. He would never trust any human who called him a pretty boy, even if he was ruggedly handsome by feline standards.   


“She does call me that,” Sanji hummed. “I was just surprised by your choice of words, that’s all.”   


“Sanji? What are you doing out here?” A woman with bright hair, hair to give Sanji’s fur a run for his money, and a short skirt was coming up toward them. “I never thought you left the apartment. Who is this? A cute little friend of yours?” Sanji let her pet him and scratch his neck. When the woman reached down to rub beneath Zoro’s chin, he went in to bite her. “Your friend has nasty manners,” the woman said, frowning and drawing back.   


“Don’t bite Nami,” Sanji warned. With Sanji distracted, Zoro leapt away and began to stalk away toward the back alleyway next to the building. “Hey! Don’t forget. Give me a few days. Get a group who can come together at a moment’s notice.” Zoro answered with a careless flick of his tail.   


[=]

Sanji’s frequent visits with Domino had allowed him to make some key observations. The first: the restaurant kept its food waste well covered in the kitchen, which was constantly swept and monitored for critters who managed to get in the building, until trash day. It would be fullest the day of before they took it out to the back for the trash man to empty. The second: the first lunch rush of the weekend kept most of the employees in the dining area, making the kitchen as empty as it would ever be. The third: fatty pieces of bone made Domino fairly sleepy and Sanji was steadily feeding her such pieces, keeping her drowsy especially after her late morning meal of kibble. The fourth: the chefs could not tell the difference between the anxious pawing of their beloved guard dog and the scrapes of a cat’s paw. 

“Quickly!” Sanji yelled. “Grab as much as you can stuff in your maw and go! You don’t have time to be greedy.”   


The swarm of cats into the door had spread like an infestation into the kitchen, knocking over the large trash can and spreading trash everywhere. The cats who had other mouths to feed were scampering off with as much as they could carry in their jaws, eager to come back to make sure their litters were fed. The more daring cats were pillaging the counters. The fighters of the group, promised rations to hold off the humans, hissed and dove at the chefs remaining the kitchen. Zoro couldn’t tell between a human yell and the cats’ shrieks, but the chaos was deafening and quite frankly, exhilarating. 

“You cat!” Domino howled, but she was being held down and scratched and bit as cats rippled back and forth in the doorway. Zoro had summoned Johnny and Yosaku, who had networks of their own, and the sheer number of strays and feral cats they had collected made them a mesh of browns and blacks and oranges and whites vibrating in and out of the kitchen, food stuffs carried out to better places than the landfill. The trash can was being emptied in no time, even as chefs were coming in as backup; the place was a fancy establishment and damage control was required to keep the patrons from panicking at the sounds of victorious hungry cats. Such an upheaval was totally unheard of; cooks were stopped in their tracks, awestruck by the colony in the kitchen.   


Sanji was hustling some stragglers, but he was distracted by the toro - his eyes were drawn to it again, now smaller than Zoro remembered it the first time he had seen it. The young tom who was being too ambitious was dropping food even as Sanji nudged him toward the door, still staring at the beautiful red fish. “Take it!” Zoro yelled, slithering out of a cook’s grasp. “Just take it!”

Sanji’s ears flicked, indicating he had heard Zoro. In one smooth, fluid motion, he leapt up and sank his teeth into the toro. One of the cooks let out a yell, but Sanji rocketed off the counter and sprinted for the door, herding the last few cats toward the alley. It was one thing to save good produce - it was another thing to grab mangy, grubby cats with trash in their mouths. Most of the cats had gotten out scot-free, a free meal in return for their efforts. Zoro ran out as the cooks lunged at him. The door slammed shut just as his tail slipped out from the doorway. Sanji was waiting a distance away, looking back. Zoro did not expect him to have waited.

But before he could even make a scathing comment about, Domino dove forward, heavily scratched and battered but very much enraged. “You are dead meat,” she snarled, her fangs bared and claws outstretched. Sanji could drop the fish and make a run for it; without the extra weight in his mouth, he could probably barely squeeze past her grasp and escape. But the fish was more than just fish. It was a dream, and more importantly, it was a physical trophy of the hunt. Zoro was not about to let any cat make the choice between life or pride. He tackled his entire weight into Domino’s side. 

“Run!” he roared, not taking his eyes off Domino. This was a guard dog whose instincts had taken over; she was not going to think about sympathy or mercy at this point. Her eyes had clouded over and she was practically foaming at the mouth. “I’ll catch up later. Just make sure everyone else gets far away from here!”  


Sanji mumbled something around the fish, but Zoro heard him flee the alleyway. He unsheathed his own claws and arched his back to make himself as big as possible. “Finally I get to fight you,” he hissed. “You’re provoked enough this time, aren’t you?”

“I hope that pest and his fish was a good exchange for your life,” Domino growled.   


The apartment building Luffy and Usopp and the witch Nami lived in had a lot of nice, sunny spots, but the best was the expanse of roof. The roof was the exclusive turf of Mihawk, the black and white cat with piercing eyes and an even sharper aim. But he was a merciful god, and he spent his time divided between the roof of the building, the red-haired man’s apartment, and wandering the streets looking for appropriate prey. Zoro had always thought the sun kissed surface to be the perfect spot to die on. Presently, everywhere was nice and warm to him, the sun on his belly. It was only when sleep was fleeting and he was less groggy that he realized the warmth against his side was a physical thing, not from the stone under his back after hours exposed to the harshest rays.

“Oi,” Zoro yelped, the surprise mingling badly with the sluggish way his brain was waking up. Sanji wrinkled his nose but he did not move away where he was nestled against Zoro’s flank. Zoro flailed for a moment, regaining his senses, and settled back down. Sanji’s fur was really as soft as it looked.   


“Don’t thrash around so much,” Sanji chided. “You’ll reopen your wounds.”  


“I didn’t get that many.”  


“You’re a true idiot. A barbarian and an idiot, picking a fight with a dog two times your size.” Sanji’s paw pressed against his shoulder, and Zoro blinked as the gold cat began grooming his face.  


“Hey. I can groom myself.”   


“I know you can. Just let me, okay?” Sanji stopped his meticulous licks - Zoro wondered how long it took for him to groom himself on a regular basis, he was more of a lick and go kind of cat - and reached next to him for a piece of red fish. “Here. Chew on this and stop moving your mouth while I fix your fur, because apparently your mother never taught you how.”  


“Toro,” Zoro said, naming the fish.  


“Yes, wise guy.”  


Zoro sniffed at it as Sanji licked along his neck up to his ears. “Did you eat the rest?”

“A proper cat doesn’t scarf a meal when it’s given to him. Just eat it, okay? Stop yapping.” Zoro didn’t like being ordered around, but he ate the fish anyway; it was tasty, but it was too fancy for his tastes. It was very busy on his tongue, and he figured it was only finicky cats like Sanji who could enjoy it as it was meant to be enjoyed. Still, the gesture was nice. He rested his chin on the warm roof surface, letting Sanji groom his back without resistance. “I came back for you once I put the toro in a safe place, but I didn’t expect you to have fended off Domino. She wasn’t even giving chase when I found you. You were really out of it though; I followed you all the way up here and you didn’t even seem to notice.”

“Well, you know how it is when instinct kicks in,” Zoro said sleepily. It had been a long, long while since another cat took care of him like this. “It was fun. She was a good opponent. You think she’ll fight me again?”  


“If you didn’t beat her up too badly, you savage.”   


The door to the roof opened and the witch Nami appeared. “There you are,” she said. “I’ve been looking for you all over. What’s gotten into you, Sanji? You used to never leave the house like this.” She came closer and recognized Zoro, stopping to look at them together. “Oh, Sanji. Of all the cats.”

Voices were echoing up the staircase, vibrating and bouncing through the air. Zoro’s ears flicked in recognition. “Zoro!” Luffy shouted. “I heard you were in a fight! Why didn’t you come straight home!” Usopp was right behind him, fretting in his usual way about infections and broken bones. “Oh! Is this the lady cat you were talking about, Usopp? Look, their tails are curled up together!”

“Sanji isn’t a lady cat,” Nami said, although there was more amusement in her voice than discernment. “This cat is yours? You should train him better; he scratched me the first time I met him.”  


“Zoro’s cool,” Luffy said, as means of an explanation.   


“Zoro doesn’t usually like other cats,” Usopp said. They were standing around them, looking down at Sanji looking up at each of them in term. Zoro had not bothered even lifting his chin up. “So...do we separate them or should we just leave them alone?”  


“Let’s play later, Zoro,” Luffy chirped. “When you’re spending time with friends, you don’t disturb that,” he said sagely to Usopp and Nami.   


“Zoro’s a cat,” Usopp said, but Luffy had already lost interest and was poking around at the television antennas on the roof. “I’m sorry about my roommate. He can be a handful. Oh, uh, I’m Usopp by the way. Third floor. Sorry about Zoro too. He’s usually standoffish.”

“As long as he doesn’t teach Sanji any of those bad manners, I don’t mind. I’m Nami.”

“If your human makes a move on Nami swan, I’ll claw his fingers off,” Sanji said pleasantly, rubbing his nose against the back of Zoro’s head. Zoro had already fallen asleep, serene dreams of Mihawk backing respectfully away and Kuina’s playful bites and Usopp’s handmade catnip toys and red, red fish and golden yellow fur.   


**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to think about cats and how cute they can be together. I wanted to avoid anthropomorphizing cats with distinctly human traits, even though I wanted ZoSan.....thanks for reading.


End file.
